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marmod:

This exact scenario happened to me the other day. Thanks, Garrus.

Bonus:

lesbianathogwarts:

diagondaley:

i started laughing yesterday in the middle of the street because i started thinking what it would be like to have gym class with only tumblr people

#there goes the ball  #along with all the fucks i give 

(Source: daleyprophet)

jesliey:

homosaurus-rex:

homosaurus-rex:

It’s actually a good thing that the zombie apocalypse starts in Florida because then the zombies only have one way to go and that’s straight up into trigger happy redneck territory. I give it two weeks before monster trucks and mullets save us.

can we talk about how this is still getting notes

The funny thing is that i can not actually come up with a counter argument for this.

psychoticallysweet:

thenotsogreatgatsbyy:

fantastdemiurge:

thrithwig:

king-of-the-casuals:

I’m just gonna let the world figure this out



what

mylifebyjake

legend milklegend cowlegend moolegend skimlegend ???

psychoticallysweet:

thenotsogreatgatsbyy:

fantastdemiurge:

thrithwig:

king-of-the-casuals:

I’m just gonna let the world figure this out

what

mylifebyjake

legend milk
legend cow
legend moo
legend skim
legend ???

nine-twenty-seven:

amaceing:

I’ve never laughed harder

I would have gone with Patrick Root but that’s just me.

(Source: featuringfob)

paragonikathryn:

falstafff:

i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

This is genius

ATTENTION

savanaugh:

I AM ON A MISSION. I AM GOING TO FOLLOW EVERY FUCKING BLOG ON THIS SITE. ALL OF THEM. HELP ME ACHIEVE THIS GOAL, INTERNET STRANGERS, BY REBLOGGING THIS POST AND I WILL FOLLOW ALL WHO REBLOG IT. E V E R Y O N E.

d0nn0:

d0nn0:

SOMEONE HELP I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY BECAUSE IM NOT LUKE AND IM SCARED FOR JAKE’S SAFETY

This got 32k and the guy was in the bathtub the whole time trippin on lsd

d0nn0:

d0nn0:

SOMEONE HELP I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY BECAUSE IM NOT LUKE AND IM SCARED FOR JAKE’S SAFETY

This got 32k and the guy was in the bathtub the whole time trippin on lsd

(Source: d0nn0)

savannahdewbs:

Want to listen to a podcast?

Want to listen to music?

Want to watch/listen to a subtle horror film without jump scares?

Want to have a smooth tongued man speak into your ear for a half hour?

Listen to Welcome to NightVale

Do it

Subconsciously or unconsciously

Just do it

purradox:

tomthebluellama:

hellarat:

madmaninachair:

Do you ever memorize a person’s voice? Like you can construct a sentence in your mind that that person’s never said, and yet you hear them say it.

Is that a thing people can do?????????

yea 

there are people that cant do that??????????